#now i wanna watch The Kingsman

[thetinyadventurer]

lmao!

[pascallatte]

Very Funny

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Actress!reader

Summary: A very chaotic Kingsman interview

Date: September 2017

A/N: like last time, sorry for the late post. I was having a massive headache so here I am, alive and well, also you aren't here cause this is like a scenario where someone(Halle) hints at your and Pedro's relationship, and will do like 1-2 more of this before my beloved 20s start. so without further ado, enjoy reading and please tell me what you think, like always.

“So we thought, we’d help you get to know each other. Ok?” Dotty, Halle and Pedro’s interviewer for this video told them. 

Handing Halle a card, “This is for Pedro, so you ask Pedro those.”

“Ok, so she- OK” Still confused at what’s happening, Pedro looks back and forth between Halle and Dotty. 

“These are for Halle. I’m just trying to help you to get to know each other,” handing Pedro his own cue card.

Looking down at her question, “ok, so I go first?” Halle asks, smiling at her questions.

Agreeing, “ you can go first Halle, you go work your way through those questions. I’m trying to help you, get to know Pedro.”

Halle laughs before continuing, “Okay, Pedro. What is something you get wrong almost every time you do it?”

“Like if I ever think I can cook for somebody,” he says making this off-looking look on his face before turning to Halle.

“you can’t cook?”

“I just shouldn’t,” shaking his head at her.

Being the subtle tease she is, “really?”

“really.”

And in want to tease him more, “but do you try hard for-,” she cuts herself off a smirk now seen on her face, “-for your loved ones?” she raises her eyebrows at her emphasis and his reaction.

Nodding slowly, “For my loved ones? Ah, I try-I improvise. I always think that I can improvise a meal and then make a good sandwich,” Pedro was seen rambling on and on, somewhat shocked at Halle’s follow-up question.

“stick to that, stick to what you know”

Deciding to help him out, “so you can’t cook.”

Now looking at her intently, “I can make a good sandwich-” he says as he looks like he was telling something to her through his eyes.

“okay.”

“-and good breakfast.” 

“well breakfast is important,” she tells him, chuckling for a bit.

Almost calm, he responds, “exactly”

Halle’s smile makes him ramble again, sensing the teasing he’ll get, “You want some breakfast? You want a sandwich? Come to me.”

Dotty says as she watched the exchange, “This feels intimate guys. I feel like I should leave.” The pair laughs as Halle makes an 'X' using her arms mouthing,” Not me, not me”

Interrupting with her own questions, Dotty looks at Pedro, “Do you want to make breakfast for Halle?” With the same soft tone as a while ago, he turns to look at Halle’s teasing expression, “I’d love to make breakfast for Halle”

“Halle, do you accept the invitation?”

With a smile and an “isn’t it obvious look,” Halle turns to Pedro with a stoic look before giving a subtle tease (not that anyone but them would get it), “Yeah, anytime, just wanna make me anything you want. I’m telling you he loves making breakfast for his loved ones."

At this time he just accepts her teasing, nodding at her words,” yeah I make breakfast for my loved ones every time.” As if nothing ever happened she began her next question. “So Pedro-“

The interview continued, with questions varying from what was the last lie he told to if there was anyone Halle forgot to thank in her famous Oscar-winning speech and now to the opening, what was the worst way you’ve broken up with or been broken up with someone. 

And with Pedro being on the spot he thought for a moment before sharing with the world that, HE, the Pedro Pascal. Has been broken up by someone via email, which leads the video to his own question for Halle.

“umm, yeah Next question!!” Pedro says loudly as he looks down at his cue cards, making everyone laugh at his declaration.

“what do you look for in a man?”

Raising the mic up, “Clearly all the wrong thi-.“ And just as quickly, Pedro cuts her off, “Now. Now. Today. What do you look for in a man today?"

Jokingly, or not, “Who says I’m looking for a man?” Halle says as Pedro gives her a look which she clearly understands.

Dotty adds her own, “or woman,” making Halle laugh.

Somehow cleared up, “or woman. You know what? What do you look for in a person?”

Looking up, she thinks of something that won’t start something with the press, “Hahh... honesty, everybody would say that. That was a no brainer”

Disagreeing with her, “that is not a no-brainer, honesty is the most important. The number one-“

Dotty being the curious person and interviewer that she is, asks him,” How about you Pedro? What do you look for in a woman..or a man?” Also shrugging like her her question isn’t such a big deal.

Halle seeing this as an opportunity to tease him again, leans closer to him, “Hmm, what do you look for in a woman Pedro?”

Whispering to her, but the mic still picks it up, “huh, I think I know this.” Faking an innocent expression, she raises her hands up in surrender, “no, no”.

Jokingly, the interviewer joins in with Halle’s teasing, “Yeah no, we just want to tell your fans your...let’s say type.” Unconsciously fanning himself with the cue cards, he whispers to his right, “Don’t deny it.” 

Halle, despite the chaotic mess they’ve portrayed just now, still urged him, “Okay, just give us five words” 

Breathily, “Five words to descri- what I look for?” Pedro, who was still looking at her, asked as she just nodded in amusement.

They stared at him expectantly, making Pedro leave no choice but to answer, “Okay, okay, let’s see. I want someone who cares, obviously.” Leaning back the chair as he lifts one hand to count.

The interviewer does the same, “Ok that’s one.”

“Someone who can keep up with me, in every aspect.” He listed, getting nods from Halle, who has this very obvious smile on her face. “Of course.”

Looking at Halle, “Umm when sh-they love to be themselves. Like always especially when I've gone and done all the unthinkable every midnight..”

Leaning back in exaggeration, “Oh those are oddly specific.”  Copying her stance, “Is it? No, it’s not, I’m speaking in general over here.” Bringing both hands in the air as he emphasizes general.

Just agreeing to what he says, she continues, “Now, how about features?”

“Features? Why features?” He gives her a very very questioning look, making her laugh as she leans on him. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

He fakes a chuckle as he realizes, this is still a part of her scheme, “I mean, they should be lovely-look, everyone I love would look lovely to me.” Halle gives Pedro an audible hum and a wink towards the camera.

“what??”

Sniffling a laugh, Halle just waved a hand in the air, “Nothing, go on.”

Dotty, now really curious, “Hold up I sense something here, is there someone? You’re like thinking of?” And like a deer in headlights, the bickering pair turns to her, Pedro shaking his head and Halle smiling in her seat.

“oh no no, absolutely not. I don-it would be out in the world already if I do- just with what’s happening." Pedro insisted, arms waving around to show that there's no one.

“Sure, sure. You can’t keep it a secret can you?”

Flicking his cards towards her, “Hey! Okay the last one is that..they…should be-“

Whispering to the mic as subtle as she can, “-small and energetic”

Whipping his head at her declaration, more of in a panic state than a surprised state, “Huh? What do you mean where did that come from?”

“Yeah Halle, where did that come from?” Butting in as Dotty is now more curious at the meaning than the interview proper itself.

Shrugging, “I don’t know, cause I do have a friend who’s small and energetic and-“

“who is I-“Dotty was cut off when Pedro spoke loudly towards the mic. “Yeah, okay, okay. that’s enough. She doesn’t have a friend, who’s small…and energetic. I think? that I know of.” Looking at her with big eyes as he plays with the back of her chair.

Sensing that the time they have is almost out, Halle opts to end it with a final tease, “He’s right, I don’t, but he does.” Small tease being this exaggerated wink and pointer finger pointed at him.

Pedro, like shoving people out of the way ends the interview, “Very funny. I don’t- actually don’t believe whatever’s coming out of her mouth, at the moment.” Making the people around him laugh as he slumps on his chair.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅���•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙

Taglist: @benonlinear @t-stark35 @heyitsme-2 @elleeeee21 @holmesstrange @tagakalat @flyestvenustrap @oldermenaremyreligion @cherryred444 @hobiismyhopeu @ilovehotdadsandshit @djarinsstuff @guacala @avengersheart @pukka-latte @lilvampirina (the ones in bold can't be tagged on my side. Please tell me if you've encountered any problems on your end)

[drymushroomfics]

Eggsy's Plan

a/n: This is just a quick little one shot. Enjoy!

     Harry knocks, waiting for his closest friend to answer the door. His face falls when the door opens and Eggsy appears.

"What are you doing here?", he asks, clearly annoyed.

"Trying to talk some sense into Blaire.", Eggsy whispers.

"About what?"

"You."

They get cut off by Blaire.

"Harry...", Blaire says, smiling.

She pushes Eggsy out of the way and hugs him. Harry's been gone for a couple of months on a mission. He hasn't had any contact with anyone from Kingsman except tech.

"I've... I've missed you.", she says.

He wraps his arms around her to return the hug.

"Let's go inside.", Harry says, feeling nervous.

She nods and lets go of him.

Blaire, Eggsy, and Harry all sit in the living room. Harry tells them about his mission.

"Merlin  told me you'd gotten shot. I was worried sick... Always getting shot...", Blaire says.

Her words tug at Harry's heart. Eggsy keeps looking in between them as they talk, knowing that he has to get them together. He's thought up this plan and is decided to do it now.

"So um... I wanna show you something.", Eggsy says, interrupting them.

"What are you talking about?", Blaire asks.

"I added something to your bunker."

"My bunker? Why?"

"Thought it needed a nice touch. C'mon."

They both curiously follow Eggsy down underground.

"Here we are.", he smiles, letting them step in front of him.

There's a small frame on the wall that says 'gotcha'.

Before they can turn around, Eggsy's running up the stairs locking them in.

"Eggsy! What the hell are you doing?!", Harry yells.

"I'm tired of watching you two aimlessly stare at each other like love sick puppies! You're both awkward and weird and you need to work this out. I'm determined!", Eggsy replies before walking away.

Harry feels his face turn red as he walks back down the stairs.

"Well... It seems we're stuck.", she smiles, knowing well that a Kingsman could get out of here easily.

"This is childish.", Harry says.

"Harry... He's just trying to help."

"Why? So I can be humiliated..."

"Humiliated... Why would you be humiliated?"

"You've never looked at me as anything more than a friend. I've made my piece with that."

She stands up, walking over to him.

"For someone so intelligent, you can be quite daft."

She pulls him down by his suit jacket to kiss him.

"I've been in love with you since the moment I met you.", she smiles.

"I... When Valentine shot me, the last thing that flashed through my mind was... you... I knew that I loved you... I never thought I'd get the chance to tell you.", he admits.

She finds herself grinning from ear to ear as he leans down to kiss her again.

"We might be in here a while... He probably will expect us to take a long time.", she smirks.

Harry notices the bed in the corner and blushes.

"I think I have a few ideas on how to pass the time.", he smiles, taking her hand and pulling her onto the bed with him.

She pushes off his suit jacket. He lets it fall to the floor before pulling off her top. He leans down and starts to kiss and suck at her neck. She lets her head fall back, enjoying the feeling of his touch. Her hands blindly manage to un-do his tie and unbutton his white button-up shirt. She pushes his shirt down and off his arms. The shirt falls behind him. They lay back on the bed, allowing him to crawl on top of her. She moans when his right hand starts massaging at her covered breasts.

"Holy shit! I leave you guys alone for ten minutes and you're fuckin'!", Eggsy says.

Harry, flustered, covers Blaire with his discarded shirt.

"I hate you.", Blaire says.

"At least my plan worked. You should thank me."

Blaire picks up the closest thing to her and throws it at him. He quickly runs back up the stairs.

Harry laughs.

"Maybe when we're alone.", Blaire says.

He nods.

"Maybe another few minutes though.", he says, pulling her close to him.

She bites her lip as he leans in to kiss her.

[bitchysoulwasteland]

Bucky Barnes X Kingsman Reader

Word count: 630.

Summary: You are a highly skilled Kingsman -and dancer on the side- agent who is head over heels for Bucky. One fateful Stark party finally pulls the courage out of you. (With some help of Merlin.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Kingsman or any associated characters (besides the character of Y/n). Do not copy or reblog any of my work as your own.

Enjoy.

Bucky had always admired the transformation that you could undergo at will. One moment on stage being the most gracious and feminine being on earth and the next the clumsiest anti-feminine woman he had ever met, although being one of Kingsman's best agents. It was the same as for the transformation before and after you had gone undercover for a mission. That was what he loved about you. You didn't know this of course. He would never admit to anyone, not even Steve, that he thought you were attractive, let alone that he had a major crush on you. Okay, well, major being he fancied the fuck out of you. You, on the other hand fancied the fuck out of him as well.

Bucky was pulled from his thoughts as your dance ended and Queen's 'Somebody To Love' faded away into the applause and the standing ovation the crowd was giving you. You bowed and wiped the tears from your eyes as you went into the wings of the stage. If only he knew that he was the reason you had chosen that song.

The next day rolled around quickly and it was back to work and normal routine. Well, as routine as things could get when you're in the world's mightiest heroes. Which, of course included Tony's '40s theme' party you were now in the middle of, all dolled up, 40s style, with no date whatsoever and a longing for the metal-armed soldier in uniform across the room who seemed to have no idea of your feelings for him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------You watched the 'soldiers' in their WW2 uniforms as they danced with their partners in their makeup and dresses. One couple dipped right in front of you, taking your eyes off of Bucky.

"I can't promise that I'll be able to dip you like that, but you won't be miserable over here." your closest friend at Kingsman, Merlin said as he appeared at your side, in uniform as well.

"I shouldn't. But. Oh, what the hell, I've had too many of these to wallow in self pity." You said as you took his offer and went to the floor and began dancing with him.

After ten minutes of silently swaying to the music, Merlin broke the silence that had settled between you.

"If you just told him how you feel, then you can both stop moping around. Also, act like yourself, not some '40s woman." a thought came to you as he spoke.

"Merlin, you're a bloody genius!" you spoke as you walked out of the party.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Has anyone seen Y/n?" Eggsy asked as he sat between Steve and Bucky at the bar.

"Not for a while." Bucky trailed off as he saw you.

After leaving the party, you had gone to your room, took off all of the '40s makeup and turned back into yourself before getting into your suit with glasses.

"Alright lads?" you said as you walked behind the bar and poured yourself a drink as both Steve and Eggsy excused themselves from the situation. "Look, I'mma get right to the point. I fancy you. Have done for ages and I mean ages. So, wanna dance Sarge?" you held your had out as you walked around the bar to him.

"Hell yeah, doll." he spoke as you got onto the dance floor and began swaying to the music. "This means you're mine now, doll." he said softly but protectively before his lips met yours.

"I wouldn't be opposed to that idea." you said after pulling away as you smiled at each other whilst dancing to the music.

"Told you I always have the best ideas." Merlin said smugly to Harry beside him. His friend simply rolled his eyes with a smile as he sipped his drink.

A/n: Thank you for reading, if you enjoyed this, keep a look out for more of my pieces.

[jlepixie]

I watched today "Kingsman" and I want to say that this man's accent and looks and the way he acts and his loyal too. excuse me? where do I get one? Eggsy is such a role model for any men in the world. and lord he looks so good in a suit, I always knew I have a thing for men in suits. ૮꒰/ฅ//ฅ//꒱ა

ok ok ok, when the hype for Pedro Pascal were on, I always said "I don't see what is so good about him to like" I always thought its overhyped. BUT now I wanna apologies because I see it, oooh yes I see it. his voice, his looks, his acting, please daddy come home at mama ໒꒰ྀི ๑ ´ ˘ ` ू ꒱ྀིა

[sheerfreesia007]

Finding Love In Legacy Oaks Epilogue

Title: Finding Love In Legacy Oaks Epilogue

Fandom: Kingsman

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x OFC!

Author: @sheerfreesia007​

Words: 1,097

Warnings: Sappy happiness

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711, @fioccodineveautunnale, @phoenixhalliwell, @linkpk88, @weirdowithnobeardo, @athalien

Gif Credit: @nobie

The sunlight was streaming in through the open French doors of the room as a soft ocean breeze fluttered in causing the white gauze curtains to wave in the air. The sound of soft waves crashing onto the sandy shore pulled Jack from his deep satiated slumber. He blinks slowly as his brain starts to wake up and he can hear soft chatter coming from the balcony that’s right outside the French doors. Rolling out to the side of the bed he sits there in his underwear and lets out a large yawn while scratching his stubbled chin. Images of last night flash through his mind and he grins softly, yesterday was his wedding day. 

He remembers the pretty picture Bunny had made in her gorgeous floor length white wedding dress, she had been so worried that her boot would impede her but thankfully it hadn’t. And then Esme had been dressed up in the prettiest floral dress that her and Bunny had scoured the local shops for. The day had just been so filled with love and laughter between the three of them and their guests that Jack still felt dizzy and high from the event.

Standing from the bed he begins to walk to the french doors and can hear the soft chatter begin to grow louder. He spies Bunny and Esme sitting at a small circular table on the balcony in the sun with breakfast laid out on the table. Esme is excitedly retelling the events of last night to Bunny who’s grinning at the girl and resting a hand on her extended stomach. Jack grins fondly at the sight before him and feels his heart stutter in his chest as he watches Bunny rub her hand softly along her round stomach before shifting in her seat.

“Do you think we’ll be able to go down to the beach today? I wanna go in the ocean and swim!” Esme asked excitedly and Bunny chuckled softly before nodding her head.

“I think that’d be a great way to spend our day. And maybe tonight we can convince Dad to go out to the hotel restaurant.” Bunny said with a serene smile on her face.

“No convincing needed.” Jack said as he walked up behind Bunny and leaned to press a soft kiss to her temple. Bunny hummed softly while Esme cheered happily. Jack moved to sit in the open seat between Esme and Bunny while letting his left hand trail down Bunny’s shoulder to tangle with her own hand that was resting on her stomach. “How did you sleep last night? Did our little one let you sleep at all?” he asked fondly before sticking his tongue out at Esme who cackled and repeated the action to him.

“Oh which one are you talking about now? I’ve got two little ones now that you’ve sealed the deal.” Bunny teased and Esme beamed at her happily from her seat as she took a piece of bacon from the serving tray.

“I figured the older little one would sleep through the night but the little one you’re growing might’ve kept you up.” Jack responded as he chuckled while serving himself some of the food.

“Oh yeah, the little one growing kept me up a little but Es also got confused last night and didn’t remember we were on our honeymoon. So she was up for a little bit but I got her back down. I slept alright, and will probably take a nap on the beach when we go.” Bunny said truthfully as she smiled at Esme. Jack nods his head and turns to Esme who looks a little sheepish from waking up but Jack grabs her hand to reassure her.

“Trust me I woke up this morning and didn’t know where I was either.” Jack said fondly and Esme looked at him surprised. Jack and Bunny chuckled while Jack nodded his head at Esme’s surprised look.

“It happens kiddo. It’s not a bad thing, it just stinks that you woke up confused, that's all.” Bunny said reassuringly and Esme nodded her head. The three of them all continued to eat while spending time together talking about their favorite part of the wedding and what they wanted to do while on vacation together. 

Just then Bunny’s cell phone began to ring and Esme popped up from her spot as Bunny picked up her phone. Jack laughed as he saw Jeremy’s video call photo displayed on the screen just as Bunny answered the call.

“Good Morning Daniel’s family!” cheered Jeremy as Esme came and climbed into Jack’s lap as Bunny scooted her chair next to his so that they could all see Jeremy. Esme burst out into laughter as they saw Jeremy was holding Butter up to the phone so that they could all see him.

“Good Morning!” called out Bunny, Jack and Esme causing Butter to start barking happily as he recognized their voices.

“I hope the three of you have so much fun while you’re away. No need to worry about anything Butter is in good hands. I’ll make sure to make him super fat and happy with a lot of treats and steaks.” Jeremy said causing Esme to burst into giggles as Bunny rolled her eyes at him.

“Don’t you dare Jer. If I come home and Butter is fatter than he is I’m going to make you take him on mile long walks.” Bunny threatened, Jeremy and Butter looked at each other after her threat causing everyone to burst into laughter at their antics. Just then Butter began to wiggle and squirm in Jeremy’s arms before he kicked his feet and the phone went flying as Jeremy cried out before the call ended. Jack laughed loudly as Esme shrieked with delight and Bunny just shook her head before rolling her eyes.

“Alright you two. Why don’t we all get dressed in our swimsuits and we’ll head down to the beach for a bit.” Bunny suggested and Esme sprung from Jack’s lap before racing back into the hotel room. Jack smiled softly over at Bunny as he grabbed her hand gently with his. He lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed soft kisses to her knuckles causing her to smile and blush at his antics.

“How did I ever get so lucky?” he asked bemusedly and Bunny chuckled at his words.

“The world will never know.” she teased him before getting up quickly from her chair and waddling into the bedroom with Jack hot on her heels jeering at her as she laughed loudly.

[meowstri]

gulp... hi moots and followers

so as some of you may have noticed (or not), i havent very active since november-ish and im so sorry for this!! school is biting me in the ass (ive said this 10 times in the past 3 months) but things have slowed down a bit. ive been going back to writing; mostly practice, but its not definite whether ill be super active again soon. im hoping to write some kingsman fics as i literally just watched the golden circle 2 hours ago (spoiler: it was so fucking good and definitely motivating me to write).

im still on a semi-hiatus for now, but slightly more active. i post the occasional games my moots tag me in but ill try dishing out some moodboards or drabbles in the mean time. also i cant believe my first fic gained that much traction and it still is as of january, perhaps ill write another peter fic again. love u all x

if you wanna keep up with me im on twitter (@meowstrii), which im most active on, or any of my socials linked in my bio !! i post shit about marvel, f1, and hockey :3

[strang3lov3]

Dear Bug Tis I again, long time, no ask! I say this like I wasn't here like 3 days ago... oh well! I hope you're feeling better, if you're not feeling well, I hope that changes and something good happens, even if it's a minuscule thing. Personally, I still feel like winter/January dread is everywhere, like something only February can make worse or better. Let's hope it's better... Speaking of February, is there anything Valentine's-y planned in terms of writing? Some do write for Christmas and Halloween, and Valentine's Day is about love... or well, kinds of intimacy. Oh, and the tlou guide for avoiding all the stuff that can cause someone to hurl would be so appreciated. Because when I'm telling you I was ready to just suit up with tears in my eyes and watch everything knowing it would've probably made me feel so sick I wouldn't be able to enjoy it in the slightest... Update on the Pedro journey while I'm talking. We are no longer at a standstill folks! I decided to watch The Bubble, which came out in 2022. I was confused but entertained for some reason. The movie was the kind that is so awful, that you find it funny for other reasons. Now it's between Triple Frontier and Kingsman: The Golden Circle. Both are on Netflix, which has stayed loyal to one name, unlike HBO, MAX, HBOMAX, HBOWHATEVER. 😒 I think gladiators will be put on hold cause I sort of wanna watch them on a day when I can do both in one sitting. However, I ended up seeing people briefly talk ab how the sequel wasn't even close to the first movie, and I feel like... if you're gonna do a sequel, do it right. That goes for any franchise! Some of the best movies ever don't have sequels, and that's good. Why can't we just keep doing that? Saw the Jack Delroy snippet. You can't see it but there's a big, big smile on my face and guess what my reaction to that snippet was. If you guessed that GIF I always mention, you were right, congratulations! I am never opposed to trying something new, that's how I ended up staying here for more than Roman. So with that said, know I am here and I am all ears. Ooooh that rhymed, I love that. Marvel and Star Wars scare me, not just the fact that it's too much to get into, but the fans. Oh my god. Like all fandoms, there are a bunch that are very protective and gatekeep literally everything. But with Marvel and Star Wars... that bunch seems like a majority. I tried getting into Marvel, but in recent years, the script and acting just seem sloppy from what I've seen. And some of these actors are phenomenal and it's just sad somehow. Like a big casino machine that Disney won't stop using. There are movies scheduled for 2027?? And those were announced in 2024...??? And on closer inspection, GoT seems like a bad idea at this point for squeamish reasons. ROMANTIZING THE LITTLE THINGS YES!! Dew on the grass, warm laundry, and sparkly snow yessss! Lighting a new candle is such an underrated little thing to just do? The same goes for waking up in the morning and seeing the pavement wet from all the rain that just stopped coming down!! I think that appreciating the smaller things is something to do to make the misery of winter less shitty. Even some emojis are just... cute to look at... like this is so nice 🐑🐘🎠🍨🍀

Also, while we're here, I just wanna say that as I watched all the clips of Kieran at the golden globes, I noticed the grey hairs on his beard and I now realize he's getting closer to whatever Roman is in the Stepdaddy series and it just won't stop popping up in my head. 😵 I feel like I talked more than usual, but it was needed since I was last here ages ago!! Also, I hope Jojo and Gizmo are doing well. I feel like I always need to say something to them when I write here, not that I'm complaining, they're so cute. 💞💞 Many sweet and kind wishes 🍓 anon

Hi 🍓 anon!

January can be a very tough month. Historically I’ve not had good January’s lol. February can be….okay. Idk! I spoke about this with a friend recently but there’s certain months that I just don’t like. Generally the first 4 months of a year I don’t feel like a real person, plus August and September. Those months are not real to me. June/july + October-December I feel like I exist. This makes sense to no one but me LOL

Hmmm. Valentine’s Day fics….maybe. I did sex pollen for Valentine’s Day last year, maybe I’ll do that again this year. Idk! Nothing planned as of yet. Valentine’s Day is tough for me fic wise because it’s so lovey dovey and I don’t tend to write stuff like that. But we will see!

Let me get on that TLOU trigger list asap!!! From one squeamish person to another 🫂

I’m here for this HBO max name change slander. Speak the fuckin truth babe 🤘 I’ve also not seen the bubble, believe it or not. I know it’s a bad movie and people enjoy bad movies but I tend to just find them excruciating? I’ve never been one to hate watch or hate read something either lol. If it’s not my bag, I don’t force it ¯\_(ツ)_/ you might enjoy both triple frontier and kingsmen golden circle though! I liked the latter of the two the best, but it’s not my favorite.

Totally with you on the sequel opinion btw. Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of sequels are made with the intention of cash grabbing and not actually building onto the story in a meaningful way. I think the original gladiator did not need a sequel, and I don’t think gladiator II added much of anything there.

MY JACK DELROY SNIPPET!!! Now that is something I would indeed encourage you to check out (and I’ll give you time stamps to avoid grossness there too but it’s not too bad). Jack Delroy has been my babe since like, July. I looooove David Dastmalchian.

Like….just look at him. He’s so fucking handsome and charming and UGH and he’s been in like every fucking movie playing side characters that always die??? He’s set to play some hot apocalypse dad ended an upcoming movie directed by Mike Flanagan, and I’m really excited about that. But yeah, check out late night with the devil. He plays a very charming character.

It’s the Disneyification, that’s what’s going on with marvel and Star Wars. You know the deal, I know the deal. Quality over quality, blah blah blah. I don’t feel like I’m missing out by not participating in those films. And yep, GoT might not be a good fit for squeamish sensitive sweethearts like us. But that’s okay!

Never stop romanticizing the little things btw. I love this quality about you. You’re such a beautiful person

LOOK AT THAT MANS GRAYING BEARD. OHHHHH FUCK. I love him. He’s aging so fucking BEAUTIFULLY I could cum. Sorry. But it’s true.

Gizmo and jojo are well!! They’re gonna be unhappy boys because im gonna be gone for almost 12 hours today in class and they are mama’s boys through and through. But they’ll live. Gotta go to school and get my degree!! They say hi btw 👋

Much, much love to you sweetheart. So lovely to hear from you always!

[rphosphor]

Cass sent me a list containing like 70 movies to watch so now y’all can judge my taste in them so far

[michameinmicha]

Rewatched kingsman tonight and now i rly wanna draw my boyy

[cordalino]

A Brawl Stars Playlist because I'm currently hyperfixed

 Here’s the link for y’all ;)

 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5KNhfysc9lGG7qvZ8WLVv3?si=a09558b1e647485a 

Starr Park - Suspicious Minds by Elvis (Starr Park is based in the early 50′s - late 70′s and I′m LIVING for its whole vibe. This park is mega sketchy, too)

  Should I Stay or Should I Go? by The Clash (LEAVE THIS PLACE NOW)

Retropolis Gang - Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry 

Black Betty by Ram Jam (Just imagine this playing in the background at Bull’s   Diner during dinner time omg)

Bibi - Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill (No way she hasn't started a riot, I swear)

 Bad Reputation by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts (She says she watches Shrek just for this scene, but she actually really likes the sappy stuff, too)

Bull - Saturday Night’s Alright by Elton John (This just reminds me so much of that one scene in Kingsman: The Golden Circle, ITS WEDNESDAY)

  Ballroom Blitz by Sweet (He knows the song lyrics by heart, trust me)

Crow -  Back In Black by AC/DC (He lives in that leather jacket)

  Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne (I'm basing him off a punk in the 80′s or just a little greaser bird boy in the 50′s)

The Mystics - Camel by Camel by Sandy Marton 

(Aside from the meme, this song is an absolute BOP)

Tara - Who Is She? By I MONSTER (She’s just so majestic and mysterious)

   You Belong To Me by Jason Wade (see the pyramids along the nile~ OK BUT THIS SONG FOR A TARA X READER OR WHOEVER YOU SHIP HER W/)

Sandy - do you dream of me too? by Rook1e (lofi helps him relax fr)

   Insomniac by Memo Boy and Chakra Efendi (this is self explanatory) 

Gene - Another One Bites The Dust (he walks through the park to the beat, coz I swear that head is EMPTY)

   Hey Ya! by Outkast “y’all don't wanna hear me, you just wanna dance :(”

Arcade Trio - OLD GENESIS by PHONK WALKER

Brock - Rocket Fuel by DJ Shadow ft. De La Soul (this is literally his theme)

  Punk Tactics by Joey Valence & Brae (Imagine him blasting this on his boombox though, I love him so much)

Rico - My Ordinary Life by The Living Tombstone (Ok but the 3v3 showdown promo from 2017 goes perfectly with this)

   Daydream in Blue by I MONSTER (Nah he’s daydreaming of Piper <:)

8-Bit - Tokyo Drift by Teriyaki Boyz (Crazy laser tag background beats)

   Browser History by Graham Kartna (peaceful mode 8-Bit coz he’s loading)

[thishintoflove]

“I Think He Knows” - A Kingsman Fanfic

TSwift Songfic Week Day 5

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x M!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Explicit (Pining, dirty talk, hand jobs, oral sex)

A/N: I feel like there’s a lack of M/M in the Pedro cinematic universe fandom, so here’s some bisexual Whiskey having a good time with a fellow male agent.

Summary: You and Agent Whiskey are paired together for an out-of-state mission. On your last night, your pining and his flirting finally come to a head.

I think he knows his hands around

A cold glass

Make me wanna know that body

Like it's mine

The mission was long but you were finally finished with it. Three weeks in Dallas were more than enough for you, and you were looking forward to getting home to your own bed and your own office in Kentucky. You were aching for the privacy it offered, after spending almost a month sharing a hotel room with your fellow agent. This time you’d been paired up with Agent Whiskey, and because of that you were glad the trip was almost over.

It’s not because Agent Whiskey- Jack - was incapable. Quite the opposite. He was extremely efficient and good at his job but he was also… extremely attractive. Which was a huge distraction.

You took pride in being a capable agent but Jack and his pretty face compromised that. You’ve never been in a situation like this before. Lusting over your coworker felt extremely unprofessional, but it was impossible to ignore him. He was an in-your-face kind of guy, always butting in with a comment or joke, always using his body as a weapon. He’d lounge around your shared hotel room in nothing but a thin towel, his wet hair draped across his forehead, and you swear he did it on purpose. The man knew how attractive he was and he obviously loved flaunting it.

He was tall and tan, with soft brown hair, a pair of beautiful round eyes that seemed to sparkle with amusement, and a smile that made your knees weak. The downside was that his smile made just about everyone weak. You were living in your own personal hell. Every single day having to watch Jack be attractive without even trying, and then watch as everyone in his vicinity tried to flirt with him. Tonight he was wearing a black leather jacket and extremely tight jeans, looking more like a movie star than an undercover agent. The man could pull off anything. It’s actually unfair.

You were out at some dive bar, celebrating the end to a successful mission before flying home tomorrow. It was Jack’s idea of course, but you’d agreed because you needed a stiff drink after these three long weeks and honestly you couldn’t say no to him.

“Another round, kid?”

You glanced up and saw him staring at you, a twinkle in his bright eyes. His hand gripped his empty whiskey glass and you eyed your own half-full drink. You couldn’t throw it back like him.

“I’m good for now,” you answered.

He nodded and slapped you on the shoulder as he stood up, “I’ll get you another one anyway. You better finish that by the time I get back.”

You sighed as you watched him walk away. His ass looked fantastic in those jeans. All the training and harsh exercise routines that Champ put the team through really worked for him. No wonder he could get any pretty thing he wanted.

Speaking of which, he seemed to have turned his affections on someone else. You groaned, your eyes never wavering from where Jack stood. He was currently making small talk with the pretty brunette bartender. He was giving her the full Whiskey treatment- gazing at her with those soft, mocha-colored puppy dog eyes and giving her a charming half-grin. Watching him flirt was simultaneously entertaining and torturous. He threw his head back, laughing at some dumb joke the bartender must have said, and you almost growled out loud as you hungrily stared at his neck.

Stupid horny bastard.

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans

It's like I'm seventeen, nobody understands

No one understands

You were getting really sick of hiding your partial hard-ons and jacking off in the cold shower, but everything the man did was hot. The deep voice and accent alone were enough to get you going on most days. God, you hadn’t felt like this since high school.

If Jack noticed you staring or caught on to the fact that you took extra long showers, he didn’t say anything. You were openly out at the agency and your sexuality wasn’t a secret. When you first joined the Statesmen, you felt you had something to prove at work, as if you had to demonstrate your masculinity by keeping up with the largest members of the team. But you’ve excelled in your role for years now and you were beyond proving yourself at this point. You were just glad that Agent Whiskey wasn’t one of the people who cared that you liked men.

In fact, he treated you just like he treated everyone-- this meant he wasn’t shy about flirting and teasing you. Sometimes it seemed like he was coming onto you, but you had to remind yourself that he was like that with everyone-- you weren’t special and there was no way he was actually interested.

Before falling asleep each night, you’d listen to Jack’s soft snores and run scenarios through your head of every possible way that you could share your feelings. You thought about all of the things you could say, and all of the ways Jack could react. It was agonizing but your analytical mind couldn’t stop. You wished you had the courage to just ask him out. The worst that could happen is he’d say ‘no’ and maybe request to never work with you again, but then at least you’d be free of him.

Wanna see what's under that attitude

Like, I want you, bless my soul

And I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

A loud laugh suddenly interrupted your thoughts and you looked over to the bar again. The bartender was giggling and grasping at Jack’s arm. The sight made your stomach turn, and you made a quick decision to get out of there before you had to watch them start making out over the bar.

You stepped up next to Jack and finally drew his attention away from the girl.

“Hey, hold off on my drink. I’m gonna head out,” you told him.

“What? Come on now, it’s so early!”

“Yeah. I just don’t really feel like hanging out anymore. I’ll see you back there.”

Before Jack could respond, you threw down some cash on the bar and turned away. You were already across the floor and on your way out the door when a hand on your arm stopped you.

“Hey. Are you pissed at me or something?”

“No,” you muttered, trying to ignore the shot of arousal you felt when he grabbed you, “I just don’t feel like sitting in the corner, watching you flirt with some chick.”

You tried to turn away from him, but Jack let out a quiet “ohhh” of understanding. His grip on your arm tightened.

“We’ve been on this mission for weeks now, and on our last night you finally decide to say something?” Jack laughed, turning you around so you were facing him again. He invaded your personal space, ducking his head and trailing his nose along your neck and jaw.

“What?” you asked, confused because he couldn’t possibly mean...

“You're so slow, that’s what,” Jack mumbled, his lips tracing along your neck. It felt amazing, but... was Jack- your fellow agent and known womanizer- really nuzzling your neck right now?

“I'm confused, are you really into this?” you asked again, trying to hold back a moan. Jack pulled away and looked at you with huge eyes.

“God, you’re an idiot. I've been sending you obvious signs, makin’ eyes at you and showing off what I got, and now I'm literally biting your neck, and you're still asking?” Jack said incredulously. You searched his face and saw eyes that were filled with desperation and lust.

“I just assumed…”

“I like it both ways, kid. Is that clear enough for you?”

He then took one step forward and kissed you fully on the lips. There was only a moment of shock before you melted into the kiss, pressing your bodies closer and running your hands over Jack’s shoulders and back. All of your worries disappeared then. You didn't feel the terrible anxiety that constantly filled you with dread. Your mind stopped frantically thinking about every possible worst case scenario. Everything stopped. There was only Jack.

“Oh ohhhh right. Yeah I’m an idiot,” you quietly mumbled against his lips, “Want to go back to the hotel?”

“Fuckin’ finally,” he replied with a grin.

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

So where we gonna go?

I whisper in the dark

You weren’t sure how you made it back to the hotel so quickly, but as soon as you tumbled through the door, Jack had you pinned to the bed underneath him. His hands roamed all over your torso, and he pulled the shirt over your head and tossed it aside before quickly doing the same to his own. The room was filled with your little whimpers every time Jack ground his hips against yours. You stared up at him, his lips swollen and red bitten and eyes blown with lust, and you were positive that you looked just as debauched. He looked just as beautiful hovering over you as you’d always imagined, and you wanted to feel him everywhere.

“More,” you whined, canting your hips up into Jack’s.

He groaned and trailed his hands down your chest, his fingers brushing against your nipples, causing a moan to slip from your mouth. He continued his journey down until he reached the fly of your jeans.

“Lift up,” Jack mumbled, leaning in to kiss your neck as he tried to tug your pants down. You obeyed and soon your pants and your boxers were off, leaving you completely exposed.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he moaned, his fingers barely brushing over your erection, “You’re even prettier than I thought, darlin’.”

You groaned, pushing your body closer to Jack’s. As his hand slowly learned the feel of your cock, your own hands wandered all over his body. From his strong shoulders to his muscular back, to his waist, his hips, his thick thighs. You slipped one hand into his jeans to grab his ass, finally getting the chance to touch the part of Jack’s body you’d fantasized about the most. You could feel his clothed erection rubbing against your thigh as Jack continued steadily stroking your cock.

“Jack,” you whimpered, gazing into his dark, lust-filled eyes. You were barely able to control your thoughts properly since Jack’s pace was getting quicker and way too distracting. He grinned down at you.

“This good, baby? You want it a little rougher?” he asked, a groan slipping from his lips as you squeezed his ass in response.

Jack pushed forward and kissed you harder this time, moving his hand faster along your cock. Then he kissed his way down your neck, sucking and nipping all your sensitive spots. Suddenly he bit down hard on the skin between your neck and shoulder, following it up with a long lick with his wide tongue. That show of possessiveness was enough to push you right to the edge. You cried out as pleasure tore through you, coming in ropes all over Jack’s large hand. You gasped for breath, your chest rising and falling as your head lolled against the pillows.

Jack hovered over you, continuing to kiss your neck and upper chest as you came down from your high. “I’ve been told I’m good with my hands, can I get a confirmation on that, darlin'?“ he asked with a cocky grin.

Your eyes blinked open and you smirked at him. “You’ve got the confirmation all over your hand.”

“Ooooh, so he’s mouthy all of a sudden. Guess I just had to get you in bed to see the sassy side of you, huh?” Jack tutted.

“I’ll show you mouthy,” you muttered, blushing at the stupid euphemism even as you trailed a line of kisses down Jack’s sternum and belly.

When you reached the top of his jeans, you surprised your fellow agent by flipping him over and yanking his pants down in one fluid motion. Jack growled at the switch, but when you took his cock into your mouth, he gasped and surged forward. You enjoyed the desperate moan he made as you swallowed him completely, his hips bucking into your mouth. But you wanted to take your time with this. You grasped his hip bone with one hand and held him down, before pulling off his cock and moving to lightly lick his balls. Jack was making beautiful, desperate noises and you loved the idea that this strong, confident agent was falling apart because of you. You smiled against him and swiped your tongue along the bottom of his shaft before taking him fully into your mouth again.

“Holy hell, you’re fuckin’ amazing,“ Jack groaned as you bobbed up and down on his cock, “I’m so close-”

You sucked harder and reached your other hand down to fondle his balls again as Jack thrust into your mouth. Soon he was arching forward and shouting your name. You let him come in your mouth, swallowing his seed down like it was another shot at the bar.

When you looked up at Jack from between his legs, you grinned. He had his head tilted back, one hand thrown across his mouth as he stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. When he felt your eyes on him, he looked down at you with a satisfied smile.

“Damn, that was…”

“Amazing,” you cut him off, “Even better than I imagined.”

“So you imagined it, huh?”

Unable to control the urge any longer, you leaned forward and pulled Jack into a sweet, affectionate kiss. You ran your fingers through his soft hair and you could feel him grinning the whole time. When you finally pulled back, he was still smiling but he also looked a bit confused.

“Why haven’t we done this sooner?” he asked.

“I was convinced you were straight. I’ve been a fucking mess trying to decide if I should say something or not,” you replied.

Jack hummed and reached for you, but you chuckled and pulled away.

“You need a shower,” you said, “Then we can talk some more.”

“Only if you join me, sugar...”

I want you, bless my soul

I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

[bi-bard]

New Year’s Kiss- Eggsy Unwin Imagine (The Kingsman Series)

Title: New Year’s Kiss

Pairing: Eggsy Unwin X Reader

Requested: Nope!

Word Count: 635 words

Warning(s): A little bit of teasing from Eggsy but that’s it

Summary: (Y/n) and Eggsy were basically best friends, but when (Y/n) opens up about something that they thought was embarrassing, Eggsy is left wondering what to do.

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy! I hope 2021 is better for you than 2020 was! Don’t ask me when this takes place because I have no idea.

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“You’re kidding,” Eggsy said, staring at me in shock. I shook my head. “You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

“No, I haven’t, alright,” I snapped, now blushing. 

It wouldn’t be so bad if he knew, but my feelings for Eggsy made me look like a teenager. 

“Aww, so innocent,” I swatted at his hand as he pinched my cheek. He laughed at my reaction. He calmed down after a moment. “It’s alright. I won’t treat you any different.”

“I’m sure you won’t,” I muttered sarcastically. 

“Come on, let’s get some of that candy,” Eggsy leaned forward and grabbed a few candies for me. 

This was the nice part of having just the two of us at a New Year’s gathering. No one else could judge me in the moment and we got all of the food and drinks to ourselves. It was great. 

“Why do we watch the same event each year,” he asked after a little bit. 

“Tradition,” I shrugged. “We’re scared we aren’t interesting on our owns?”

“That’s optimistic,” Eggsy laughed. I laughed along with him. “Wanna play a game?”

“Sure,” I nodded.

“Would you rather,” he suggested.

“Sounds fun,” I turned so I was facing him. 

We spent the next hour or so playing would you rather before we got bored and changed it to marry, fuck, kill. We had also moved from the couch to the floor for reasons unknown. I think it was something about stretching our legs out. Either way, the second game was definitely making us laugh harder than the first one. 

“Alright, alright,” Eggsy took a deep breath, still chuckling. “Marry, fuck, kill; Harry, Merlin, and... Roxy.”

“Oh, Jesus,” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Umm... Marry... Merlin because why not, fuck Roxy because that would be fun, and kill Harry because it’s my last option.”

“Ouch,” Eggsy put a hand to his chest. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Don’t laugh, this is serious!”

“You are so ridiculous,” I said. Once we were both silent, we looked at the TV. “Look.”

The clock was only the final countdown.

7

6

5

4

3

2

The last second was lost in my mind when Eggsy leaned over, cupped the side of my face, and kissed me gently. As if it was an instinct, I started kissing back immediately. My heart was flipping, my head suddenly felt like I was drunk, and my stomach was full of butterflies. Just as I started getting comfortable during the kiss, Eggsy pulled away. 

He paused while still sitting close to my face. His hand on my cheek made me blush even more. His breath hitting my face made me feel like a nervous wreck. How could one man make me feel so much in such a small amount of time?

“Happy New Year,” he whispered before pulling back fully and sitting as he had been.

“Happy New Year,” I replied. I looked down at my hands for a moment. “So... what does that mean?”

“I love you,” he explained. “And I’m going to help you experience every piece of a relationship that I can. Hopefully starting with the New Year’s kiss.”

“You love me?”

“More than anything.”

“I love you too,” I said softly. 

Eggsy smiled at me. I let out a deep breath before moving towards him. I had one hand on each side of his lap and I was resting on my knees as I kissed him again. I smiled into the kiss right before I pulled away.

“I am never gonna get tired of that,” I chuckled.

“Neither am I,” he said before pulling me over so I was properly straddling his lap. With a small smirk on his face, he moved to meet my lips halfway.

The perfect way to ring in the new year.

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[sheerfreesia007]

Finding Love In Legacy Oaks pt. 13.5

Title: Finding Love In Legacy Oaks pt. 13.5

Fandom: Kingsman

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x OFC!

Author: @sheerfreesia007​

Words: 5,457

Warnings: Smut, Dry humping, heavy make out, teasing

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711, @fioccodineveautunnale, @phoenixhalliwell, @linkpk88, @weirdowithnobeardo, @athalien

Author Notes: It’s getting spicy in here! We are effectively moving forward with the relationship finally. After 13+ chapters we’ve finally got some progression of the smut. Also I do not know how to play poker and my research made my brain hurt so please excuse the pathetic description of the poker game. Anyway I hope you all enjoy!

Gif Credit: @pedroispunk

“So this is Jeremy’s house?” Jack asked as he pulled up to the curb of a one story blue gray house with white flowering bushes in front. There were three other cars parked at the house, two in the driveway and one in front of Jack’s truck. Jack silently recognized Henry Mill’s station wagon in the driveway. Bunny smiled excitedly as she nodded her head before looking over to the house from her spot in the passenger seat of Jack’s truck.

“Yup. Is this your first time at his place?” Bunny asked curiously as she eagerly unbuckled herself while Jack parked and turned the truck off.

“Yeah, I haven't really had a chance to hang out with him since we’ve met.” Jack said slightly uneasy and Bunny waved her hand dismissively at his words.

“Oh once tonight is over that’ll change real quick.” she said easily and Jack grinned over at her before he opened the driver side door and got out of the truck. Bunny watched as Jack easily walked around the front of the truck to get to the passenger side door. He easily opened the door and held his hand out for her crutches that he leaned up against the truck before placing his hands at her waist and slid her toward him on the seat.

“Alright now just slide out I’ve got you.” Jack said softly and Bunny looked up at him with soft amused eyes as she huffed softly at his words. “Woman, I swear I learned my lesson about making you feel invalid. It’s a drop so I don’t want you to fall with the dang cast on.” he explained softly and Bunny nodded her head before sliding herself gently out of the truck. Jack easily guided her down to the ground and as she slid down the side of the car seat the hem of her top rode up her stomach letting Jack’s fingers graze her skin making her skin spark with electricity.

Sucking in a sharp breath Bunny gazed up at Jack while he looked down at her with surprise shining through his eyes as her feet finally touched the ground. Tension swirled between the two of them as Jack stepped closer to her caging her in against the passenger seat. Desire swelled and churned inside of her as Bunny felt Jack’s fingers gliding along the skin of her sides leaving veins of electricity in their wake as they moved up and down her sides. Jack breathed out softly as he leaned down towards her face, Bunny felt heat rise within her body and she tilted her head up and to the side to receive Jack for a kiss that she felt almost desperate for.

“C’mon you two! We wanna start the game already!” called out Jeremy from his front door that was left open behind him. Bunny jolted in Jack’s arms as if she was doused with ice cold water effectively pulling her from the daze with such force that it almost gave her whiplash. Peeking around Jack’s shoulder she spotted Jeremy standing on his front step with the light from within his house casting him in dim shadow as he cheekily waved at her with a wide grin splitting his face.

Groaning softly Bunny rested her forehead heavily against Jack’s chest making him chuckle softly. His hands slid out from under her shirt to gently settle the clothing back over her body with soft swipes of his hands over the material. Bunny’s body lamented the loss of his fingers on her skin as she took in a deep breath to calm herself down. She hadn’t ever felt so desperate for something so simple as someone else’s touch so it was quite surprising to feel this way.

“C’mon before he actually comes out here asking us what’s taking so long.” Jack says softly with an amused lilt to his voice. Bunny squinted her eyes up at him shrewdly before she nodded her head in agreement, knowing Jeremy he would walk out to them and ask what was going on just to tease Bunny. “We’ll have plenty of time later tonight.” Jack said heatedly as he stared down at her for a moment before he moved to the side so that she could begin crutching up to the front door where Jeremy was still waiting for them.

Bunny’s head was swimming with the promise of a goodnight kiss from Jack later on that night as she crutched up the sidewalk to a still grinning Jeremy. When she got up to where Jeremy stood he hummed softly and Bunny rolled her eyes at him as she moved past him.

“Cock block.” she grumbled at him as she passed him to enter his home and Jeremy burst out into laughter as he waited for Jack. Bunny shook her head as a smile spread slowly across her lips. She moved into Jerem’s living room with an easy familiarity that spoke of the years-long friendship she had with Jeremy.

“Hey Bunny!” called Henry from he stood next to the long folding table at the side of the room that held all of the catering food that Jeremy had ordered for tonight. Trays of wings in different sauces were displayed on the table with platters of cut veggies and salad dressing. Smiling softly at Henry she moved across the room to him and gave him a side hug as he held a plate already full of different wings.

“Hey Henry, how are you?” she asked conversationally and the man smiled at her as he bit into a wing.

“I’m good. Sarah’s good, she’s in Denver right now for a work conference. Won’t be back for another week or so, then we’re both on vacation off to Hawaii for our tenth anniversary.” Henry responded easily as he hugged her close to her side. “What do you think of this spread? Nothing like your cooking but he didn’t do too badly.” Henry said as he nodded to the table.

“It looks delicious. Did he go to Giovanni’s?” Bunny asked curiously and Henry nodded as he took another bite from the wing he held. Just then Jeremy and Jack walked into the house laughing softly making Bunny curious as to what they were talking about before coming in. Jeremy’s eyes twinkled with delight as he walked into the living room and made a beeline for Bunny.

“Hungry honey?” he asked teasingly and Bunny nodded her head while Jeremy pulled out a plate from the pile at the end of the table and began plating up some wings with dipping sauce and some veggies for her. “C’mon Mercy and Penny are in the dining room eating too. Jack, Henry you guys can come join before we start the game.” Jeremy said over his shoulder as he moved towards the kitchen and dining room.

Bunny looked back at Jack to see him nodding his head and smiling at her, gesturing for her to follow Jeremy. Crutching behind Jeremy she smiled as he moved to the side so that she had enough room to crutch ahead of him. When Bunny reached the dining room Mercy and Penny cried out happily once they spotted her. Mercy easily got up to switch her seat so that Bunny had an easy place at the table.

“Thanks Mercy.” Bunny said happily as she sat down in her chair while Mercy grinned and waved away her words.

“No sweat sweetheart. How are you feeling?” Mercy asked kindly and Penny nodded her head as she continued chewing her food.

“Doing alright, still in pain because of it but it’s getting a little better.” Bunny explained before she began to dig into her own food that Jeremy placed down in front of her.

Not long after sitting down Jack and Henry were joining the group and being swept up into the happy chatter. Bunny would steal glances at Jack as she talked with the rest of the group and she would catch him also watching her silently as he ate his own food. Bunny watched as Jack easily and effortlessly slipped into the group of them with charm and jokes that seemed to create a spell over the whole group. Henry was cracking jokes with Jack that had all of them in stitches as they grabbed their sides and wiped tears from their eyes.

Once everyone had finished eating the group moved from the dining room back to the living room where there was a medium sized round table with green felt that covered the middle circumference. A deck of cards lay in the middle of the table and Bunny smiled as Mercy guided her over to the table so the two of them could sit next to each other. The others all took seats in the remaining chairs and Bunny silently bemoaned that Jack sat across from her at the table. But it didn’t last for long as Jack winked at her from his spot and Bunny blushed softly at his gesture.

“Alright you hooligans let’s get down to it. The game is called poker so let’s go.” Penny said as she laughed softly and shook her head while her hands began to shuffle the cards elegantly. Penny began to deal out a hand to each person and Bunny began to lose herself in the familiarity of the situation. She had been coming to this monthly poker game for years now and the five of them had all gotten close as they spent time together betting and playing against each other. And now that she was able to bring Jack and share this with him she felt as if she was just opening up her friend circle.

“So is it normally just the five of you who come to play?” Jack asked curiously as he looked around the table at each person. Bunny looked down at her hand and saw that she had a horrible hand, not letting on to the others at the table what kind of hand she had been dealt.

“Usually it’s six of us, Lyle Boggs sometimes comes but he’s in India right now doing some photojournalist gig.” Jeremy responded as he looked down at his hand. Bunny nodded her head as she watched Jeremy’s brow twitch to the left as his eyes danced over his cards and she knew that he had a shitty hand. He looked up from his cards and made eye contact with her, biting his top lip slightly and she swiped her tongue over her bottom lip. “Alright I’ll raise.” Jeremy said as he threw a chip into the pile in the middle of the table before turning his head to look at Jack who sat next to him.

Bunny peeked up from her cards to look at Jack and saw that he was watching her avidly making her shift in her chair. Jack smirked softly before placing his cards down on the table shaking his head. They all went around the table for the round and Jeremy easily won that pile of chips. Bunny grinned softly as she watched Jeremy cry happily as he greedily slid the chips over to him.

*-*-*-*

Jack leaned back in his chair leisurely and covertly watched as Jeremy and Bunny successfully hustled money from the others in the group. He was amazed to see how the two of them had formed a process to their hustle. Bunny was the scout as she watched each player looking for their tell, once she had gotten a read for the table she would signal to Jeremy in subtle gestures to let him know how to play the round.

Jack had been in awe of Bunny’s tenacity when it came to playing and how she would be able to redirect the attention onto something else other than her. Shaking his head slightly he smirked softly as Bunny watched him shrewdly still trying to find his tell. He knew that he wasn’t giving anything off to her and in return he hadn’t been able to find her tell yet as well.

His eyes slowly trailed up and down her body from the top of her head down to the middle of her torso that was displayed above the table. Her eyes sparkled in delight as Jeremy and Henry bickered back and forth about the dealt hands, her lips slipped into an easy smile as she conversed back and forth with Penny and Mercy, and her chest rose evenly with steady breaths not showing if she was excited or dismayed by her hand.

Jack’s eyes settled on her mouth for a moment and he soon got lost in the way her lips moved as she spoke, her lips moving and forming each word lulled him into a foggy daze. He could see her tongue peeking out with certain words from behind her lips and Jack felt a heat begin to form in the pit of his stomach. What he wouldn’t give to have her to himself for the evening, the things he would do to her.

“Jack!” Jeremy called loudly and Jack blinked rapidly for a moment before turning his head to Jeremy who was watching him smirking with a knowing look in his eyes. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Mercy and Penny smirking at each other from across the table. “Thanks for coming back to this realm. Are you gonna fold?”

“Fold? No I can’t fold now you’re all here.” Jack said mindlessly making Henry and Jeremy snort loudly in surprise at his words as Penny whistled low and Bunny blushed brightly while Mercy rubbed a hand on her back laughing softly.

“Well now that we all know exactly where your thoughts were, can we get back to the game?” Jeremy asked teasingly and Bunny made a garbled noise from across the table. Jack looked over at her and realized he had misspoke while still in a daze and he flushed a deep red at his mistake.

“Sorry, yeah yeah we can get back to the game.” Jack said as he looked back down at his cards. “I raise.” he added before leaning further back in his chair trying to calm himself down from his embarrassment.

“So Jack, where's Esme tonight?” Henry asked conversationally, trying to ease his embarrassment. Jack turned to smile warmly at Henry, thankful for his help.

“She’s staying over at her friend Nadia's house, they’re having a sleepover. I’m not too sure about it but she needs to get out there and be with her friends while I get a night away.” Jack said softly, feeling a little guilty for needing a break from his daughter.

“Oh I wouldn’t feel worried! Nadia’s a good little girl, very sweet. Plus Mollie’s over there too for the night.” Penny said easily as she studied her cards as Mercy folded.

“Yeah I don’t have a problem with Nadia. It’s Es’s second sleepover since-” Jack began to explain and his eyes darted over to Bunny who smiled reassuringly at him and subtly nodded her head at him. “Since we moved here. And the last sleepover was messier than a pig in a mud puddle, I just worry a little bit.” he continued softly and Bunny nodded her head.

“Understandable, but this time it’s just four little girls and Cynthia won’t be there so I’m sure that Esme will be just fine.” Bunny said kindly as she looked over at Jack with fond eyes. Jack smiled as he nodded his head at her words.

“You’re right, I know. I just worry.” Jack said softly and Jeremy clapped a hand on his shoulder in a brotherly gesture.

“Your little girl is tough as nails, like Bunny said I’m sure she’s doing fine. Plus she can always call you if she wants to come home right?” Jeremy reasoned and Jack nodded his head quickly.

“Yeah she can.” Jack said, still nodding his head as he looked over at Bunny who was looking at him with a soft, kind look on her face.

*-*-*-*

It’s later in the evening and Bunny is leant up against the kitchen sink counter as she dries the dishes that Jeremy hands her. Mercy is dividing up the wings into take away containers as a comfortable silence fills the room and falls over the three friends.

“So has my ship sailed yet?” Jeremy asks and Mercy snorts as she shakes her head. Bunny smirks softly as she dries another plate before setting it down on the counter.

“For someone who wants their OTP together you seem to be an awfully good cock block.” Bunny grumbles out making Jeremy gasp out dramatically lifting a hand to his throat as if he was offended by her words while Mercy bursts into loud laughter at her words. Shaking her head Bunny connects gazes with Mercy who’s still laughing as her hand comes up to cover her mouth.

“So what did I actually interrupt?” Jeremy asked with a cheeky grin and wink sent over to Bunny who huffed softly and shook her head as she crossed her arms across her chest.

“A first kiss, possibly more.” Bunny responded and Mercy gasped loudly and shot a glare at Jeremy who hung his head over the sink defeatedly. Bunny shook her head at her friends' antics while a smile spread over her lips.

“Possibly more?!” Jeremy cried out in dismay as he whipped his head over to stare at Bunny with surprise shining through his eyes. Bunny shrugged her shoulders as Mercy smiled softly at her. “Now. You need to go home now. Go, go. Make Jack take you home so that my ship can finally sail!” Jeremy began to rush out as he handed Bunny her crutches and then directed her out of the kitchen with Mercy giggling behind the two of them.

“Don’t rush it.” Bunny protested and Jeremy stopped short grabbing onto her shoulders making her halt as well as he peered around at her.

“Don’t rush it? Don’t rush it. Do you understand that I’ve been waiting for ages for the two of you to finally get your heads out of your asses?!” Jeremy asks incredulously and Bunny rolls her eyes at his words. “Okay listen, move at whatever pace makes you comfortable but just know that that man wasn’t able to take his eyes off you all night tonight.”

“He’s right, everytime I looked up Jack was watching you. And there were times that his eyes would heat up and whew girl!” Mercy added as she fanned herself with her hand making Bunny chuckle softly as a blush graced her cheeks.

“Trust us. We’ve seen how the two of you are around each other. The mating dance has been in full effect for quite some time now.” Jeremy said as Mercy grinned widely nodding her head. Bunny bit her lip as quietly thought about Jack and how the two of them had started the relationship that they were now in. She nodded her head at her friends and they both clapped their hands together happily before Jeremy began guiding her back towards the living room where Henry, Penny and Jack were sitting together talking.

Jack looked up from his spot on the armchair as Bunny, Jeremy and Mercy entered the room with a familiar fond look as his eyes connected with Bunny’s. He stood easily and moved over to Bunny to free up a spot for her if she wanted to sit.

“Everything alright?” Jack asked kindly and Bunny nodded her head at him as Jeremy and Mercy moved around her to plop down on the sofa.

“Yep it’s all good. Do you mind if we start heading home though? It’s starting to get late.” Bunny asked softly and Jack nodded his head quickly before turning to the group.

“Alright Bunny and I are going to head out. Thanks for inviting me. I had a good time.” Jack said easily to the group as they all looked over at him and Bunny.

“Only a good time?” Jeremy asked teasingly as he grinned over at Jack who chuckled softly.

“It’d have been better if my date didn’t hustle money from me with the host.” Jack teased back and Bunny chuckled knowingly as she gripped onto the back of his shirt as she stood slightly behind him. She could feel herself flushing with delight though as she heard Jack call her his date. “I had a great time though. Thank you.”

“I’m glad, we’ll definitely be inviting you to the next one.” Jeremy said before he stood from his spot and began walking Jack and Bunny to the front door. Jack let Bunny crutch in front of him as they all moved to the door. Holding the door open for her like the gentleman he was, Jack hung back to shake Jeremy’s hand in thanks and a goodbye. “Make sure that one gets home safely alright?” Jeremy suggested as he nodded his head at Bunny as she moved down the sidewalk to Jack’s truck.

“Of course.” Jack responded easily and Jeremy waved as he stood in the doorway watching the two of them get into the truck before pulling away from the curb. Only when Jack’s truck disappeared around the corner did he close the front door and walk back to the living room.

*-*-*-*

The drive back to their section of the community was quiet and comfortable as Bunny nestled back into the truck’s well worn seats. Jack’s cologne and the scent of leather with a hint of smoke rose around her as she gently shut her eyes and took a deep breath in. The combination of the smells made heated blood rush through her veins as she easily associated Jack with this smell.

The radio was turned down low and the soft croon of a country singer fluttered in the space of the cab filling it making Bunny start to feel almost lethargic as she settled in her seat. Resting the back of her head on the top of the seat she turned her head slowly towards Jack so that she could watch him quietly.

Jack was sitting comfortably in the driver seat with his left hand on the wheel and his left elbow hanging out the driver side window. His other hand rested loosely on his thigh as he focused on the road ahead of them. Bunny slowly reached out her left hand across the bench seat and grazed the pads of her fingers over the top of his right hand feeling that quick shocking spark erupting along her skin once again. Jack easily and quickly flipped his hand to grasp onto hers before intertwining their fingers and letting their hands settle back onto his thigh, the spark simmering into a steady warmth that spread from their hands to cover and consume their bodies. Bunny’s eyes darted over to his face and saw that he was smiling softly to himself with a look of content on his face.

The two of them sat in companionable quiet as the radio continued to play soothing country songs neither one wanting to talk and interrupting the spell that was weaving between the two. Bunny could feel not only the warmth growing between them but there was an underlying tension that coiled deep in her belly and gripped at her insides. While Bunny was content and comfortable in the lazy atmosphere in Jack’s cab she still remembered his words from earlier, we’ll have plenty of time later tonight. Bunny sucked in a soft breath as she thought of all the things that her and Jack could get up to together. She idly wondered what they would wind up doing tonight.

It wasn’t long before they were pulling into Jack’s driveway and Bunny watched as he parked the truck in it’s spot before turning the car off silently. Once again he hopped out and walked around the front of the truck over to her door before opening it and holding his hand out for her crutches. This time when Bunny scooted to the edge of the seat she placed her hands on Jack’s shoulders while his hands held her gently at the waist. Jack looked up at her for a quiet moment before stepping closer into her embrace until his hips nestled between her thighs and his chest was only inches from her own.

Bunny shivered as she looked up at him through her eyelashes. His eyes were heated as he stared down at her and Bunny felt herself diving deep into the tension that was forming between the two. She could feel his fingers slipping underneath the hem of her shirt and grazing the skin on her sides and lower stomach making her shiver and shake in his arms.

Jack sucked in a soft breath, the only indication that he was going to move before he surged forward and captured her lips with his. Bunny squeaked softly at the swift action before she hummed softly in delight at the delicious taste of Jack on her lips. Tilting her head to the side Bunny deepened the kiss as her hands moved up his shoulders along his neck and up into his hair making Jack moan loudly against her mouth. Fire coursed through Bunny’s veins as confidence surged through her at Jack’s reaction to her.

Jack’s lips were chapped but the pillowiness of his bottom lip certainly made up for the chapness of his skin. Bunny chuckled softly as Jack’s lips moved along hers and she felt the hairs of his mustache tickling along her upper lip as he moved against her lips. Jack pulled back with a raised eyebrow and Bunny gently brushed his mustache as she grinned delightedly at him.

“Ticklish.” she whispered softly to him before dragging his head back down to hers with her other hand holding the back of his neck. Jack grunted softly before capturing her lips once again with his. The two of them stayed like that for a few moments as the make out session turned heated and Jack began to crowd Bunny back against the car seat. His large hand came up to cup her jaw in his wide palm tilting her face to the side while his teeth gently nipped at her bottom lip. Bunny eagerly let her mouth fall open for him and Jack groaned when he saw the movement with his own eyes before he swiftly swept her up in another kiss swiping his tongue into her open mouth.

“C’mon honey gimme some more sugar.” he husked out gently once he broke away for air. Bunny felt herself melting against him as her hand tangled in the fabric of his shirt pulling him even closer to her so that their chests were pressed against each other. Jack groaned softly as his hand came to card and grip through her hair dragging her head back as his lips danced down her jaw to her neck where he nipped and sucked at her skin. Moaning loudly when Jack’s lips found her secret spot at the base of her neck, Bunny couldn’t control the fire that was now swirling to consume her insides. The fire was building higher and higher as it licked at her insides driving her wild for the man in her arms.

“Oh Jack.” she gasped out as his lips and teeth marked the skin on her neck with love bites. Jack hummed against her skin as he sucked harshly at the base of her neck and she gasped as arousal skyrocketed through her body.

“C’mon honey, let me hear those pretty moans.” Jack husked as he pressed his hips firmly against hers. Bunny gasped as she felt the bulge of his hard cock in his blue jeans press up against her clothed core. Bunny’s brain became mush as she felt Jack begin to insistently grind his hips against hers. Bunny felt her panties soak with her slick as her arousal and desire swamped her body while she tried to move against Jack’s hips to the best of her ability. “C’mon pretty girl, let me make you feel good.” Jack crooned to her as he ground his hips up into hers and Bunny cried out softly as her orgasm burst inside of her.

Bunny threw her head back and gripped tightly onto his shoulders as her orgasm flowed over her with little pinpricks of heated arousal that made her body jerk in Jack’s arms. Jack’s lips were sucking at her neck once again as he thrust upwards against her hips and ground his hardened cock against her.

Cupping his face gently she tilted his head up to look at her as she kissed him heatedly while her orgasm still ebbed and flowed inside of her. She moved against Jack as much as she could in her position as he continued to chase his own orgasm.

“That’s it, stud. Cum for me. I want you to feel good.” Bunny whispered against his lips and Jack groaned loudly as his hands gripped her ass tightly while holding her pressed against his cock as he ground up into her.

“Fuck Bunny.” Jack hissed out as Bunny heatedly pressed open mouthed kisses to his mouth. She nodded her head as she continued to kiss his lips, she could feel his cock jerking through his jeans and she shivered knowing that he had just cum in his pants all because of her. “God damn woman.” he sighed out softly as he pressed his forehead to hers. Bunny chuckled softly and Jack smirked at the sound before kissing her deeply once again. Bunny whimpered softly during the kiss as she felt a sharp twinge shoot up from her ankle and Jack flinched back away from her looking at her with concerned eyes.

“It’s my ankle. I need to take my pain medicine soon.” she said in explanation and Jack nodded his head quickly before he grabbed her crutches and placed them along the length of her body.

“Hold onto them for me.” Jack said easily and with a furrowed brow Bunny did what he asked, holding onto the crutches tightly in her hands. She squealed softly when Jack easily scooped her body up into his arms and took her out of the truck. He kicked the truck door shut with his boot and began walking with her across the street over to her home.

“Jack, I can walk.” Bunny said in protest but Jack pressed a kiss to her temple, shushing her.

“You’re going to be in more pain if you walk on it right now. Besides, what kind of gentleman would I be if I put you more in pain.” he said softly to her and Bunny sighed softly before resting her on his shoulder.

It didn’t take Jack long before he was at her front door and placing her gently down on her feet. He watched silently as she unlocked the front door and then turned to him. He smiled softly down at her before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her deeply as he hummed against her mouth. Bunny melted in his hold as lifted one hand to grip the material of his shirt to steady herself as she began to feel dizzy from the kiss. When they broke away for air both of their chests were rising and falling in a fast pace as they tried to calm themselves.

“I had a lovely evening, thank you for thinking of inviting me.” Jack said softly as he pecked her lips gently. Bunny smiled with her eyes closed as she hummed softly in response. “Now get in there and take your meds before I change my mind and drag you back to my place.” he croons to her and Bunny all but melts at his words. Her eyes flutter open and Jack groans low in his throat before capturing you in another breath stealing kiss. “I can’t wait until you get rid of that dang cast.” he husks out and Bunny shivers at his intentions.

Turning as swiftly as possible she opens the door and walks in knowing that she would have to make the first move or they’d be out on her front step until the sun rose. She yelped softly when she felt a sharp slap to her ass while hearing Jack chuckling deeply as she looked over her shoulder at him smirking.

“Good night Jack.” she said softly and Jack grinned widely.

“Night Bunny. Sleep well honey.” he responded and Bunny nodded before closing the front door. Resting her back against the front door she sighs dreamily before standing up fully and moving to the bathroom to take her pain medicine for the evening.

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

Drunk and Disco

Harry Hart x Reader Warnings: Drinking Word Count: 1,184 A/N: Just something light, happy, and funny (I hope). ‘This is ABBA’ was definitely my playlist when I was proofreading this. I’m not a dancer so I had to do a little research on the dance moves, forgive my descriptions. Oh and yay, just hit 250 followers on Instagram!

It was a Friday and the traffic’s bad. Just thinking about driving through, or sitting through that traffic is already making you tired. Which is why you decided to spend the night at the mansion.

Merlin said you’d be the only one staying tonight.

So, you started your night early. You showered, put on some sweatpants, a white baggy shirt, and a pair of socks with cartoon characters in it. Basically, whatever you could find inside your wardrobe that is not your uniform.

The amazing thing about staying at the Kingsman mansion is there seems to be an endless supply of alcohol and food. You walked around in your bedroom slippers as if you own the place, and raided the pantry for your dinner. You decided for something quick and easy, macaroni cheese. It would’ve been quicker and easier if Merlin decided to stock the pantry with an instant one. You made a mental note to give Merlin your suggestion.

Since you have the whole mansion to yourself, it was eerily quiet. The only sensible option is to blast some music, no neighbors are going to complain anyway. Thanks to Merlin for equipping the place with wireless speakers.

The drinks you've been consuming might’ve affected your choice of music, because you chose disco. shortly, ABBA was singing Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

And then you were singing along as you cooked, moving your hips to the song while you stir the pot, and of course, drinking to your heart's desire. You've enjoyed it so much that you didn't notice you’ve made macaroni cheese for about 4 or 5 people.

You pulled a bowl and you started to eat, but the music, and quite possibly the alcohol, is really making you move. You danced and sang around the kitchen while holding your bowl of macaroni. You moved from the kitchen to the dining area, to the living room, all while grooving to the music, singing, and eating spoonfuls.

At that moment, no one would certainly suspect you are a well-trained spy.

It was when Dancing Queen was almost done when you felt the weight of someone watching you. Out of instinct, you turned back and threw your spoon toward your uninvited audience, as if it’s going to do a huge damage.

And there he was, Harry Hart, holding the spoon you tried to use as a weapon, inches away from his face.

It's nice to know drunk and disco you still have aim.

“Good catch, Harry!" Sober you would definitely not say that. "What are you doing?" A mix of amusement and confusion is visible on his face. You had to pause the music. "Eating, and dancing, and singing, and being merry. Wanna join me?" You shrugged. "I was doing some paperwork." Either Merlin is forgetful these days or Harry had just arrived. "No, you're not. I'm the only one's supposed to be here tonight." Sounding disappointed, but you’re actually glad for the company. "But I am here and you're causing such a ruckus." You rolled your eyes at him. "Well, since you're here, loosen up a little, will you?" Harry pursed his lips and he seemed to be contemplating your invitation. 

You walked towards him and offered him your bowl of food, since he's already in possession of your spoon anyway.

Harry obliged and took a dollop, "this is good." The selection of cheese at the mansion surely made a basic macaroni cheese more delectable, but you're not going to tell him that. "Of course! ‘Cause I made that. And there's more where that came from, come along." And then you lead the way to the cheesy pot.

"Oh, nooo." Harry was going to get a bowl of his own. "Harry, loosening up a little means eating straight out of the pot." Astonishingly, he agreed to it. After you removed the pot from the stove, the two of you were digging into it, taking turns pouring each other drinks, and sharing a conversation. Turns out Harry was indeed doing some paperwork, but he kinda snoozed off a little and you blasting Mamma Mia woke him up. 

"I'm so full." You groaned. "Me too, I now have what you call a food baby." Harry said. "No way!" You went to take a look but there wasn’t any food baby visible from his fit figure, "liar!" “I'm still on the first trimester," he tried to explain and you both laughed.

You resumed the music and SOS started playing. You sang along and used your spoon as a makeshift microphone. To your surprise, Harry knows the lyrics and he sang with you, mimicking what you did with the spoon. 

Satisfied with the dinner, the two of you moved the party to the living room. At first Harry was just swaying along to the music. 

But after a few more liquid courage, Harry was moving his arms and his hips. It was a moment you'd never thought you would ever see. Harry Hart was dancing his heart out and he's also very much inclined to a dance off. 

Soon enough, the two of you are doing a little jive, singing a lot of duets using the bottles as a microphone, moving your entire body along to the song, turning with both arms up in the air, doing the disco finger, the hustle, bumping your hips together, flossing, doing whatever dance move you could think of, or trying to invent one, complimenting each other's terrible dance moves, taking a drink in between the dancing and the singing, and laughing all night.

It was fun, and exhausting. "I'm just gonna rest here." You decided to lie on the carpet, clutching the almost empty bottle of alcohol against your chest. You looked at Harry and he was panting, "good idea," and he laid down beside you.

"I didn't know you're an amazing dancer." You chuckled. "Neither do I, until today." You both burst into laughter. "Well, you're not so bad yourself." And the two of you burst into laughter again. "You are such a cute, handsome old man, do you know that?" Harry mumbled an incoherent response. You turned to look at him and his eyes were already shut. You laughed again, then music was fading and you're slowly drifting off to sleep.

When you opened your eyes, a bald man with a very unimpressed look on his face was looking down at you. Your head is throbbing and the light is making everything worse. 

You closed your eyes again and Merlin spoke, “what did ye do with Harry?” He started laughing. “Look at this poor man!” You opened your eyes and turned to Harry. He was still fast asleep, his mouth slightly ajar. You wanted to laugh along with Merlin, but you ended up crying a little because it made the headache worse.

Harry Hart, who was always looking perfectly polished, is sleeping on the carpet of the mansion, showing a bit of his chest, drunk, with his mouth slightly ajar.

Despite the pain, you knew you needed to sit up to snap photos of Harry Hart to remember this unique moment.

[yelenasdog]

romance and espionage (eggsy unwin x fem reader)

genre: fluff w/ whole lotta angst

summary: who knew names could be such a touchy subject?

words: 2.4k

warnings: literally saying fuck everyother sentence, kissing, golden circle spoilers (is that a thing? idk), mentions of harry’s supposed death, mentions of roxy’s death, guns, and i think thats it.

ok, all my cm moots don’t judge me. 

a/n: ight so uhh as i’m posting this i’m finding out taron is an incel so that’s kinda oW but uhh i haven’t seen the secret service, i just rewatched the golden circle the other night and hyperfixated on taron so... uh here’s this LMAO. also! this takes place after the golden circle, and reader took roxy’s spot as lancelot. ok enjoy!!

♔♂♔

“God, Eggsy, would you quiet down?!”

He snarled meanly in a way that could make Bennie and Jet’s metallic forms cower in fear, his thin lips turning into a grimace.

“Don't call me that here. It’s Galahad, and Galahad only.”

The other agent only scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Lancelot’s surroundings were dark, although quite stunning nonetheless. It was clear and starry night sky, perfect for romance, the worst for espionage. The air felt so refreshing on her skin, allowing her to feel free in some way, even just for a moment, which she savoured, as a feeling such as that was rare in her line of work.

Now, if the girl had been with someone other than the annoying, prickish, and (even though it pained her to the highest degree to say it) handsome fellow, she maybe would have tried to have a little fun to pass the time. Maybe fool around a bit, fraternize with a coworker, eh?

But alas, ever the one with amazing luck, she was stuck with him. 

Which meant rather than perhaps getting crescent shaped markings on her hips from a quick rondevu under the indigo sky and sparkling stars, so roughly placed to match the moon that hung in it, she was crouching uncomfortably, only wishing that the former scenario was taking place.

 Not that she meant with fucking Eggsy, of course.

Well ok, maybe, just a tad.

“Fine, have it your way, Galahad.” She flailed her arms about in a jazz hand motion, making the blondy roll his twinkly eyes in a boyish manner. She fought the urge to grin widely, a warm feeling blooming in her chest, even at his obvious arrogance and upset towards her.

She wanted to blame his feelings towards her on her being a freshmen agent, recruited right after the convergence of Kingsman and Statesman in an effort to rebuild the organization. She had been childhood friends with Roxy, who had long ago tried to get Y/n to join the agency. When faced with her friend’s death, she wanted to honor her wishes, even if this wish was a little, well, extreme.

He only sighed in response to Y/n, tapping the side of his thick rimmed glasses twice.

Y/n’s eyes followed his hands as he did so, enjoying what she was seeing a great amount. She bit her bottom lip subconsciously, losing all focus that was there to begin with.

“Lancelot? Lancelot? For fucks sake, Y/n!”

She snapped her head up, her eyes becoming magnified even further through the faux tortoise shell glasses that Unwin would never admit framed her face wonderfully.

No, not a chance.

He wouldn’t dare even let the thought about how the soft skin of her freckled nose looked even more kissable, her eyes even more full of depth and wonder, or how kind and sweet she looked when she tucked a stray strand of hair away from her face. All because of the damned glasses. Never.

So rather, he settled for pointing over to where the subject of their stakeout was now standing, gun in hand as he conversed with one of his comrades.

But although her body followed his, listening to his directions, most of the information was going in one ear out the other, her brilliant mind occupied by a certain agent and his endeavors.

She was hard in thought, wondering about names of all things. A simple subject, easy to address, you would think. But apparently it was not so, not at all.

You see, Eggsy never had called Y/n by her name. It was always either “Lancelot”, or “Agent”, Y/n only being used for the exception of if he needed to quickly grab her attention.

And on the flip side, she was never allowed to call him anything other than Galahad. Agent was sparse, it put her on very thin ice, close to splitting at any second with no prior notice.

Now obviously, with Y/n being Y/n, she was determined to crack his rough exterior, despite however much he presented himself as “unbreakable”. (His words, not hers.) So, much to his displeasure, she often called out a quick “Oi, Unwin!”, or a “Jesus, Eggsy!” whenever he got in her way, which usually resulted in a similar distasteful glance to what she was recieving now being shot in her direction.

“Alright, Eggsy, I’m thinking that his partner is-“ She used her glasses X-Ray feature, confirming her suspicions. “The partner is in the abandoned pharmacy across the street, should we wait or go now?” He was silent, staring straight ahead, scrutinizing nothing in particular with a stare that was set in stone. 

She whistled lowly, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Eggsyyy-“

“Lancelot, would you shut the hell up! Don’t fucking call me that!” He stood up, leaving a vulnerable feeling Y/n in his wake.

Y/n’s jaw was suddenly like it was wired shut. She was paralyzed, unable to speak, only keeping her gaze fixated on Galahad.

“Look, I’m sorry-“

“Yeah, well good, then! When will you ever learn, we’re not friends, nor will we ever be. Get it through you’re fuckin’ head. It’s like you think you’re Roxy or some shit-“

Sadness and guilt turned to anger rather quickly for Y/n at his unfortunate choice of words.

“Stop it! Would you please, just stop it! For fucks sake!” Her voice was harsh, something he never would had never expected out of Y/n. Tears sprung into her eyes, and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, no doubt drawing crimson liquid in the process. She tasted iron on her tongue, feeling it seep into her taste buds.

“Lancelo-“

“Fucking hell, shut the fuck up! Really, please, Galahad, listen to me, for once in your life.” She was the one who shot up, inching closer to him with every word. The sticks and leaves crunched under her feet, causing her to cringe at the sound, hoping it didn’t alert the targets.

He nodded solemnly, his jaw locking up, and his hands she had been admiring only seconds before clamped into fists at his sides.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, Harry’s words of “remember your training” ringing through her head. She internally began chanting it like a mantra of sorts.

But if she was being honest, she couldn't quite remember a chapter in the Kingsman handbook (that she most definitely did read during training) that talked about emotional distress due to your coworker who you’re extremely attracted to calling you only by your dead best friend's name, but hey, who knows.

“I know I'm not Roxy. Nobody else could ever be Roxy. I know that, you know that, hell, she knew that. And I would say that you have no idea how it feels to be reminded of one of your closest friends who is dead every time someone calls you by a name that feels as if it isn’t your own, but you do, Galahad. Or you did. But now Harry is back and- and Roxy, well Roxy is gone!”

A single tear slipped out of her left eye. The agent in front of her felt a strong urge wipe away the tears he now felt guilty for playing a large part in. But he resisted, his hands remaining stuck to his side.

“So why would you do this? Say these things, act this way, when you know I have to live every day with you for some reason calling me Lancelot in every situation and me having to call you Galahad all the same! Maybe I shouldn’t have stepped up to be Lancelot when Roxy was killed, if I can’t handle it, can’t handle the dehumanization that comes with only being known as an emotionless fuckin’ agent to you.” 

She stopped, hanging her head. She looked over to the flickering neon lights of the pharmacy, watching the outlines of the targets move around.

“I honestly have no idea if any of that made sense, or if I’m just rambling, I don’t fucking have the slightest idea what the fuck I’m even doing anymore.” Her voice got significantly more quiet, her sentences reduced to mumbles.

Aside from the target and his partners yelling at each other, it was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

His usually stern tone he took with the girl was softer now as he spoke, “You made perfect sense.”

She gave him a half smile before continuing, feeling oddly validated by his words. 

“But what I’m trying to say, Galahad, is that I’m a fucking human being. I have a life outside of this Godforsaken job, and-and emotions, too! I mean, I might even have kids that you don’t know about!”

He internally rolled his eyes, yet again fighting another urge, this time to smile widely at Y/n. Weird.

“Do you have kids I don’t know about-“

“Of course I don’t!”

They shared a short laugh as their words overlapped, harmonizing in a sweet way, their voices like thick and golden honey. Weird.

The two were then succumbed to a blanket of comfortable silence, but only for a short moment before the hushed whispers of Unwin’s voice were heard.

“D’you wanna know why?”

Y/n cocked her head, beckoning him to go on with whatever it was he was going to say. “Why what?”

“Why I only call you Lancelot, why I don’t let you call me Eggsy.”

She nodded, sitting down once more and tucking her leg under her chin in a manner that Eggsy found endearing and adorable. It distracted him slightly, but not long enough for his starry eyed staring to become creepy. Not that Y/n would have it in her capacity to ever think that of him, if she was being honest.

“If I start to think of you as ‘Y/n’, rather than Lancelot things get too real. If you hurt, o-or if you get kidnapped, or God forbid- die.” He momentarily paused, looking up to meet Y/n’s eyes.

“It would make it all too real. I can’t do that, Y/n. After what happened to Harry and then Roxy, and everyone else,” he shook his head, his expression showing him close to crying at the thought of what he was speaking of.

“I can’t lose you too.”

It was like her soul had become visibly lighter, feeling an unimaginable relief flood throughout her system at his proclamation. She was able to come down from her, so to say, “high” almost as soon as she had started it, placing her hands on his, using them as leverage to pull herself up.

“You can’t be so afraid, Galahad. You gotta, you know,” she shrugged, offering him a small smile.

“Live a little.” She moved to look down to meet his eyes where his head was suspended in shame, forcing him to look back up.

“And also, try not to let your fear turn you into a dick, which is by all means just a suggestion.” Y/n laughed at the last bit, smiling and glancing to the side slightly.

They both shared a second laugh together, and it seemed as if for a short while, time stopped. It was just the two of them, features illuminated by the pale moonlight. No target, no saving the world, nothing. Just them. 

So he reached forward, unsure if what he was doing was the right thing, just like always. The damn question of righteousness was engrained in his brain, restricting him like it did majority of the time. But for once, he decided to disregard it in it’s entirety.

So throwing all caution to the wind, unable to contain himself any longer, he closed the small gap left between the two, connecting their lips in a long awaited kiss.

One of his hands flew to the side of her face, the other wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer with a squeal. He laughed into the union, and she only smiled. One of her hands went to entangle itself with his on her waist, the other resting on his shoulder.

She could smell his cologne that he most definitely should not have been wearing per Kingsman on the job regulations, and welcomed the scent, doing her best to commit it to memory, a permanent reminder of what it felt like to be so close to the man.

After what seemed like a long time (but never long enough, honestly) they pulled away, panting for breath. Their foreheads rested on each other’s, the cool night air flowing around them, calming the pair completely.

Still struggling to catch his breath, Eggsy reached forward, taking both of her hands. He ran small circles over her knuckles in a way that made her heart flutter, before dropping them gently, reaching a hand out.

“Let's start over.”

She giggled and widely grinned, and he swore it was becoming his favorite thing in existence when she would do either of those wondrous things.

“Come on, put her there.” He shook his hand slightly making a silly face as well, widening his eyes and looking back and forth from his hand and her face. She placed it in his, proudly smirking as she did so. Their shiny rings clanged, which resulted in another small giggle errupting from her throat.

 He shook it back and forth, a sly smile painting itself on his lips. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Eggsy Unwin.”

She quirked an eyebrow, retracting her hand momentarily, letting it linger in the air.

“Eggsy, hmm? Bit of an odd name, don’t you think?”

He scoffed, placing his hand over his heart in false offense.

“Well if it’s so bad, what’s yours then?”

“Y/n Y/l/n.”

He looked to his feet momentarily, lifting his hands on either side of his head. “I digress, you win.”

She bit her bottom lip again, wincing as she hit the same spot from before. She ran her tongue over it, breathing out quickly.

“I’m not so sure. I think Eggsy is growing on me.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

They smiled at each other like lovesick teenagers, still lost within the moment.

And although the bubble of ignorant bliss they were in was something the two of them never wanted to leave, it was sadly inevitable that it would be popped at some point in time.

And almost like an alarm to wake them up from a beautiful dream, gunfire was able to be heard ringing throughout the building across the way.

They pulled apart with a groan coming from Y/n, and a “For fucks sake” from Eggsy. With displeasure lacing their expressions, they began to run towards the pharmacy when Y/n felt a hand tug at her wrist.

“Y/n wait!”

Her eyes widened as she looked at him as if he was a mad man, only slowing to a backwards jog. She gestured around her to the burst of red and orange explosions that were now going off around her, screaming “What?!”

He sprinted to catch up with her forcing her to come to a complete stop with a firm hold on her shoulders.

“Eggsy, come on! Lets go- Ah!”

He cut her off with a firm kiss, gripping the sides of her head, scrunching his fingers in her hair. She let a small moan slip out at the feeling, which he responded to by chuckling. He then pulled away, a shit eating grin written on his face. 

She stood in shock, unable to move from her place. He started running, turning over his shoulder.

“Come on, Y/n, keep up!”

Not focusing on where he was going, he tripped over himself, letting out a small yell of surprise. Y/n laughed loudly, going to chase after him with a miniscule shake of her head at his antics.

But nonetheless, the only thing going through Y/n’s mind during that situation that should have been horrifying, was that maybe she was wrong all this time.

Romance and espionage did go well together, especially when it was with Y/n and Eggsy.

♔♂♔

hello!!! so this was a multi-fandom account to begin with anyways so honestly i feel like i should start a seperate masterlist for “hj’s hyperfixations”. but yah this was my first fic for him and idk if i’ll do another but i hope u enjoyed this! also it’s my bday tomorrow (sept 7th) so this is a self indulgent fic. as a treat. ok love u bye!

xx hj

also avery asked me to tag her so @spideyspencer​ LMAO i’m so sorry for this mess.